JOMO

Throughout my life, I have consistently struggled with FOMO - fear of missing out. It’s been difficult to say “no” and miss an event, a concert, time with friends, a trip, a good meal, literally anything. Can you relate? 

Recently, I stayed in New Orleans for seven nights and participated in Jazz Fest events six of the seven nights. Despite attending the fairgrounds twice and seven concerts (which is quite a lot of music!), the trip taught me how to embrace JOMO - the joy of missing out. 

If you’re not familiar with Jazz Fest, it’s a jam-packed 10-days filled with an abundance of opportunities to see live music! There’s an entire website dedicated to helping you find all the shows available, organized by venue and time. It’s wild how many options there are every day to see spectacular live music— A dream come true for this live music fiend who loves to dance! Then, of course, there’s the festival itself, with their own array of performances that spans various genres.

Given that there’s so much live music in such a short span of time, played across the many stages at the festival, not to mention around the entire city of New Orleans, it would be impossible to see everything. You MUST make choices to joyfully MISS some music. It’s also important to rest, know when you’ve had your fill, and take care of your well-being. A couple years ago, I learned that I either needed to choose the festival grounds OR the nighttime music, but doing both in a single day exhausted me and negatively impacted my overall experience. 

Utilizing intuition is critical when deciding what you want to miss. (“Want” vs. “have” is an important distinction: remind yourself it is a choice to say “no” not an obligation.) How loud is your internal voice that’s guiding you and directing you on where to go next? It’s much easier to feel good about saying “no” and to experience pure joy, love, and peace sitting out when you have a deep knowing and understanding that your internal compass is guiding you. Divine Source is showing you the correct path for your highest expression of self. So, pay attention and listen!

I took lots of walks with Ruby, and was able to enjoy the beautiful nature of the city.

Saying “no” is a huge expression of self-love, because oftentimes we are deciding to take care of our own well-being rather than push ourselves to be everywhere all the time or saying “yes” simply to please others. Socializing is so fun! Seeing dozens of concerts in a week is so fun! Having a jam-packed schedule can feel rewarding! However, our own health and well-being (physical, mental, and spiritual) is often sacrificed when we say “yes” over and over again without contemplating “is this best for me right now?” 

This doesn't only apply to seeing live music. Consider your work calendar and the number of meetings you have, or other social obligations like happy hours or get-togethers with friends. Is there room to say "no:" to skip the meeting or pass on a social outing in order to give yourself a chance to rest, recoup, and recharge?

One trick I like to do is to talk to myself in the mirror. It can take some getting used to, but it’s an incredible way to give your internal voice, your Higher Self, the opportunity to speak up. Typically, when I’m done brushing my teeth, I’ll look myself deep in the eyes and simply ask “what do you need from me today?” Most days, my internal voice has no additional needs, other than what’s already in the schedule. But, if there is a request, it’s almost always an ask to cancel or alter plans so that I’m giving myself more rest and relaxation. I’d never know that I’d be better off resting if I didn’t give myself the opportunity to speak up. This is why mirror talk is so important for me and something I do daily. 

Singing to myself in the mirror on my birthday!

Discovering joy in missing out was really an act in discovering the joy in choosing myself, my own needs, and what best serves me. It doesn’t feel like missing out when I know that I’m making my own spiritual, mental, and physical well-being the priority. Sure, I missed a lot of great music, some of my favorite musicians playing my favorite songs, but in doing so, I proved to myself (again) that I take precedence over everything else in this world. Nothing beats the feeling of gifting myself exactly what I need in every single moment. 

Please reach out if you are interested in strengthening your inner voice, making yourself the priority, and uncovering the joy in saying “no” and missing out.