Bird Poop

Last week, I was having one of those no-good very-bad days. Despite rooting deeply into spiritual routines throughout the day, writing affirmations repeatedly, loving myself deeper and more fully than ever, and participating in a community Spiritual Center I am still susceptible to no-good very-bad days. I am still human.

Did anyone else read that children’s book? Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day depicted a child having an incredibly awful day. Literally, everything that could go wrong for him, went wrong. For example, his brothers all had prizes in their morning cereal, but not Alexander. He’s criticized at school for singing too loudly. For dinner, he had to eat lima beans! The list goes on and on.

I truly believe that Spirit shows us these misfortunes (sometimes small and throughout the day, sometimes large crises that impact our entire livelihood) to teach us a lesson, show us an alternative path, and to guide us. But, in the heat of the moment, in the thick of the anger, it’s almost impossible to pull yourself out of the horribleness and see the light. Those moments of despair are meant for you to feel those feelings - those of anger, helplessness, aloneness, sadness, grief, shame, etc. The external world is giving you an opportunity to experience those very human emotions. So, feel them! 

Recently, my particular no-good very-bad day elicited so much frustration that I spiraled into severe victimhood. Thoughts like “Why is this happening to me?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, and “How am I doing so many things wrong?” continued to creep into my mind. For nearly 6-8 hours I walked around the house in a huff, exhaling loud audible sighs, complaining to friends (anyone who could tolerate me - shoutout to those who know who they are!), and deepening into a “woe-is-me” attitude. 

FINALLY, by the evening, I decided to take my dog for a walk on the beach. I figured it would be a good way to try and reconnect with Spirit. I had also been working on a kinesthetic meditation, which I preferred doing on the beach with Mother Ocean. (If you are interested in learning more about that, please reach out and I’d be happy to share more individually.)

I angry-drove, angry-parked, angry-walked, finally crossing the long bridge onto the beach. Ruby and I stopped as I faced the ocean, still deep in my feelings and incredibly frustrated and almost immediately, a miracle happened! A true Divine sign! 

A seagull took a HUGE shit which somehow splattered all the way up my frontside, from my fanny-pack, all the way up my shirt to my neck, AND down the back of my hair (which of course I didn’t realize until my roommate found it later on). 

My first experience of getting pooped on by a bird! In one sense, you’d think this would give me reason to be even MORE angry. But, here’s where the real miracle lies… I started laughing hysterically. I laughed so hard I was crying, all by myself on the beach. For minutes on end, I couldn’t stop laughing, it felt like such a hilarious event to have occurred in such an angry hot state of emotion. After several minutes cackling, I walked down the beach a ways to begin my kinesthetic meditation, and quickly realized I couldn’t even put my hands on my heart because of the giant poop exactly at the center of my heart space. Well, of course this made me giggle literally EVERY time I went to do the meditation, which is about 65-75 times. That meant, I giggled for a solid 15+ minutes, which seemed to dissipate every single problem that had preoccupied me all day. 

What on earth could I have been so mad about? Through laughter, my problems were put into perspective. They weren’t real, and I witnessed them dissipate into nothingness. I was telling myself a sad pathetic story, feeding the monster, building the problem into epic proportions, letting anger and frustration run the show and drive the bus. Thanks to God’s miracle of a seagull pooping all over me, my negative storyline faded into the background, I started seeing solutions, and I fully pulled myself back into a mind state of gratitude. I was grateful for Mother Ocean, for all God’s creatures (but especially for pooping seagulls), for having a home to live in with dear friends so near the beach, and for all of my emotions, even anger. Gratitude overwhelmed my being, as my Divine essence, my loving soul, regained control of the bus and started driving again. Ahhhhh, sweet spiritual freedom…

Through this entire experience, I realized that we need to pay attention to the various ways God is communicating with us throughout our day. Getting pooped on by a bird could have sent me deeper into an anger spiral, but instead I interpreted it as God’s way of telling me to “take it easy! Life is full of wonders! Here’s a gift of immense hilarity!” Or as Trey likes to remind us, "Read Icculus!"

I’ll never forget the first time I got shit on by a bird. I gained so much more than an incredibly dirty shirt. Thank you, seagull! I really needed your excrement to turn my day around and bring me back to the present moment. Now is full of love, bliss, and gratitude. Our mind can be a dangerous place, full of falsehoods and made-up stories, and it can be easy to get stuck in there. Sometimes it can be hard to pull ourselves out of our no-good, very-bad days. When you’re finally ready to be done with your horrible day, find something to pull yourself into the present moment and turn back to gratitude. Reach out if you need help with this! You can also attend my next webinar centered around "Tuning Out External Noise." I’d love to share strategies beyond the gift of getting unexpectedly pooped on. Although, for me on that particular day, God gave me the exact offering I needed!